


Let No Man Put Asunder

by micehell



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, TOKIO
Genre: Ficlet, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-28
Updated: 2011-09-28
Packaged: 2017-11-11 12:17:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/478471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/micehell/pseuds/micehell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a reason TOKIO always shares just the one dressing room, and, really, it's better for <i>everyone</i> that way. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let No Man Put Asunder

While Sato’s superior was a very approachable guy, there were some things that no one, not even a well-treated personal assistant, wanted to tell their boss. So when Sato entered Johnny-san’s office, he did it with none of his usual confidence.

Johnny-san looked up at him and sighed, already picking up that it wasn’t good news his assistant was bringing. “What happened?”

“Um, it’s TOKIO, sir.”

Johnny-san sighed again. “Of course it is. What happened this time?”

Sato actually wondered where to start, but figured he might as well get right to the heart of the matter before he started breaking it down into who did what when. “It seems the studio decided, what with Nagase turning 18 last year, plus all of them starting to get attention for their solo activities as well, that they were famous enough to warrant separate dressing rooms.”

Johnny-san’s face always tended to look a little sour, but the look he got after hearing that was approaching a ‘five lemons in 60 seconds’ level of sourness, which Sato correctly interpreted as _Ye gods, what idiots_ , and continued on from there.

What had actually happened was as follows:  
1) Taichi had taken one look at his very large and totally unpopulated dressing room and decided it would make a great soccer field. Most of the furniture survived his reenactment of Real Madrid’s last match, but the huge mirrors that lined one side of the room hadn’t fared as well, the biggest one in the middle now _two_ slightly smaller mirrors with distinctly uneven edges.

2) Matsuoka had entered his dressing room calmly enough, but had immediately gotten bored without anyone to play with. No one had quite got out of him how he had managed to break the couch in the room, nor why there were ink stains on the ceiling, but Matsuoka had at least been very contrite about the whole thing.

3) Leader had been needed for a meeting, but when the staff went into his dressing room to tell him, they hadn’t been able to find him. It had caused a mild panic until one of them thought to send Matsuoka to look for him, who went into the dressing room and found Leader in about three seconds flat. The staff still doesn’t know where he was all that time, though, even though one of them went in with Matsuoka. That staff member just kept babbling something about invisible men and throwing salt over his shoulder.

4) Gussan had been in his dressing room quietly reading a magazine, when Taichi had come in, bored because the staff had taken his ball. He then made the mistake of telling Yamaguchi that there was some guy from the station management team in Nagase’s dressing room, basically molesting him, but Nagase either hadn’t figured it out yet, or couldn’t figure out a way of getting rid of him without maybe causing a problem. Which is when,

5) Gussan had slammed open the door to Nagase’s dressing room and definitely caused a problem. He apparently remembered the agreement he had with Johnny-san about his relationship with Nagase, since he didn’t tell the manager the reason why he was trying to hit him, but… well, it was still definitely a problem.

When Sato was finished recounting the day’s disaster, it was just before 10, and since the TOKIO members had only showed up at the studio a little before 9, Sato had to give them that at least they didn’t waste any time.

Johnny-san apparently wasn’t even giving them that, his look having gone into the ’10 lemons in 10 seconds’ range. But he wound up just sighing for the third time that morning and held up his closed hand.

He raised his pinky. “Pay for the mirror and tell Taichi I’ll take it out of his pay if he ever does it again… and be sure to remind him that this time I mean it.”

He raised his ring finger. “Pay for the new couch and tell Matsuoka I’ll have Mary talk to him if he ever does it again. Remind him what happened _last_ time Mary had to talk to him.” 

He raised his middle finger. “Tell Joshima that the staff apparently doesn’t have the secret TOKIO decoder ring that lets them into wherever his invisible lair is hidden, so he’s either got to let the staff into the clubhouse when they come looking for him, or he needs to stay visible to the average human eye. And tell him that I’ll fold him into some new dimensions if he ever does it again.”

He raised his index finger. “Apologize to the manager, but do it in a way that he knows I’ll leak it to the press about what a pervert he is if he ever does it again. Then I want you to have Yamaguchi look up discretion in the dictionary and remind him that what he did today doesn’t fall under that at all. Then tell him I’ll send him on a location shoot on the top of a remote Russian mountain if he ever does it again.”

He raised his thumb. “And for all our sakes, teach Nagase the difference between good touches and bad, would you? Three times for any one guy is just too much, oi.”

Johnny-san dropped his hand wearily, but his smile was still a little ruefully fond at the antics of his problem band. “And lastly…”

Sato couldn’t remember anything else that needed to be handled, but he had his notepad ready anyway. “Yes?” 

“Tell the studios that TOKIO is never to have separate dressing rooms again.”

And while Johnny-san might not have meant some of the things he said that day (Taichi never did have to pay for any of the mirrors out of his own money, but Gussan and Leader did get stuck on top of a Russian mountain after one notable event), not one of the studios ever did put TOKIO in separate dressing rooms again.

/story


End file.
